Deep, deep thoughts

• 

  If your penis were any smaller, it would be a penisn't
  

   
• 

  I wear my sunglasses at night because the sun never sets on being a badass.
  

   
• 

  What's the square root of a bicycle?
  

   
• 

  Speeding is fun and exciting.
  

   
• 

  What if cows were lesbians?
  

   
• 

  I'm a musician.
  

   
• 

  You're like twice as smart as pudding.
  

   
• 

  Knock, knock. Who's there? ... I just stole your wallet.
  

   
• 

  Indecision is kind of my thing.
  

   
• 

  Powdered donuts taste like magic.